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A World of Grief

Lisa Thomas • June 21, 2018

Of late we as a people seem to have been pummeled with bad news and terrible situations.  I say “of late” because I don’t remember life ever being this  . . . distressing . . . disturbing . . .?  Are those the words for which I’m searching?  I’m sure there are plenty of others, but those may be the most appropriate for the time being, at least for me.  And I say “we as a people” because it isn’t just one person or a school or a city or a state or even a country.  It seems the world at large is undergoing some strange mutation that involves conflict and chaos and a failure to communicate adequately, just to name a few afflictions.

We’ve lost the ability to reason.  We’ve lost the ability to compromise.  We’ve lost the ability to view people through the lens of compassion.  Please understand, when I say “we” I don’t mean everyone, but as a society people often collectively behave badly.  And the “civilized” human race is beginning to feel more and more entitled, particularly when it comes to expressing their opinion, whether or not said opinion has been requested.  In most instances that’s a constitutionally guaranteed right but unfortunately, that opinion is often expressed in a manner that includes violence or, at the very least, raised voices and rhetoric.

Now, before anyone thinks I’m about to plunge off a political cliff, rest assured, as much as I might like to use this platform to engage in some ranting, I won’t.  Because that’s not what this is about nor is it how it should be used, but I have to lay the foundation before I can start building the blog.  What it is about is situational grief—grief brought about not by the loss of a person or material possessions, or even a way of life.  Situational grief raises its ugly head when the world around us devolves into chaos and we believe we are helpless in the storms.

Those storms can be real, such as the aftermath of natural disasters.  When floods or earthquakes, tornadoes or hurricanes—even erupting volcanoes—devastate our planet, those directly affected by the loss of life and possessions will naturally grieve.  But those of us who must watch from the sidelines can also grieve for those same losses, even though we haven’t actually endured any of them.  We basically grieve for those who are grieving.

Those storms can also be metaphorical.  Should you examine the political climate in our country and/or the world at large, and find the actions being taken are in direct opposition to your beliefs, you can grieve for those who are suffering because of those actions and, by extension, for our country or world as a whole.  Our own feelings of helplessness just make the grief that much greater because we believe, as an individual, there is little we can do to change the situations.  Again, we are grieving for those who are grieving.

There are so many problems in today’s world it makes it difficult to focus on anything but the negative—but that kind of focus is never productive.  There are several ways to combat situational grief, some of which are practical and some of which, are . . . well  . . .  not so much.  For example, you can’t hide from the world and remain oblivious.  In theory that’s the perfect approach.  In reality it ain’t gonna work, not unless you move to an uninhabited island with no WiFi.  But you can take small steps to make your voice heard, to right the injustices you believe are taking place, and to offer aid to those in distress.  That may mean working to raise funds for disaster relief or simply writing your own check.  Don’t think you can make a difference that way?  Look at all the kids who’ve managed to raise thousands of dollars for the homeless and other worthy causes.  Not only have they directly impacted the problem, they’ve also served as an inspiration to others. It may take the form of reaching out to those who are suffering if they are close by or contacting those with the authority to take action.  You may not agree with either the message or the method of the student activists from Parkland, Florida, but they aren’t going gently into that good night, to paraphrase Dylan Thomas.  They are determined to be heard and to make a difference.

Any form of grief requires work to resolve.  The type of grief determines the type of work required.  If it is a loss due to death or divorce, counseling may be helpful and new ways to approach your altered life may be needed.  If the grief is more all-encompassing, even global in nature, there are still steps you can take to work toward solutions.  But instead of working to resolve your own personal grief, you’ll be working toward improving the world.

 

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