It happened very quietly . . . no fanfare . . . no public pronouncement . . . no press conference.  One minute traditional funerals were banned . . . and the next minute they weren’t.  That minute came at 12:01 AM on April 29 ^th —the effective date and time of Executive Order 30, signed into existence by Tennessee Governor Bill Lee on April 28 ^th .

Now, as I proceed through this missive, I want you to understand that, for the most part, the information I am relaying is factual stuff, based on the exact wording of the Governor’s Order.  That being said, any opinions that might be thrown in free of charge are mine and mine alone.  Just like any other opinions that I may put forth in any other blog. In case you might not recognize them, today’s opinions will be brought to you during comparisons with Mork and Mindy.

The Order addresses a multitude of issues over the course of eight and one half pages, including but not limited to which businesses must still remain closed, which “Health Guidelines” should still be followed (hint—it’s all of them, including the 6 foot rule, work from home if you can, and don’t go places if you’re sick), and that “social gatherings of ten (10) or more remain prohibited”.  (Please note the quotation marks which indicate I have used the exact wording of the Order.)  However, the very next paragraph states “Religious services, rites, or gatherings, weddings, and funerals are not social gatherings under Paragraph 2 and nothing in this Order mandates closure of a place of worship, or prohibits weddings or funerals as a matter of law.”

Hmmmm . . . an interesting turn of events.  But the Governor continues.  “However, places of worship are strongly encouraged to continue to utilize virtual or online services and gatherings and strongly encouraged to follow Guidelines to be issued by the Governor’s Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives regarding any in-person services that can be conducted safely.”  (As of this writing, said guidelines have not been issued.)

Well, okay, but what about funerals and who all can come and . . .  Patience.  I’m getting there.

“Further, it is strongly encouraged that the public celebration component of weddings and funerals be postponed or attended only by close family members.”

Sooooo . . . what does all that mean?  Basically (and I’m only going to address the funeral side of the issue . . . ‘cause that’s kinda why I’m here . . .), if you want a traditional visitation and funeral where everyone can come, you can have it.  But he wishes you wouldn’t.  In other words, what the Governor gives with one hand, he encourages you not to take with the other.  And what does that mean for us—and for you?  The family can now choose how publicly they will celebrate their loved one’s life.  If you still feel a need to exercise caution, we will accommodate that need by limiting the number of people present, based on your specifications.  If you want us to throw the doors wide open and let the world come in, we will accommodate that request as well.  But distancing is still a thing and personal responsibility for your health and safety and that of those around you is still very much a thing.  And kindly keep in mind, this Order only applies to 89 of the 95 counties in Tennessee.  The others operate their own health departments and are therefore being allowed to set their own pace for reopening their respective worlds, so the rules in Davidson, Hamilton, Knox, Madison, Shelby, and Sullivan Counties will be different from ours.

And now for that pesky opinion part.  All of this reminds me of an episode of the TV sitcom Mork and Mindy.  For those unfamiliar with the premise of the show, Mork is an alien from the planet Ork where spacecrafts look like oversized eggs and children are hatched as full-grown adults with the mentality of an infant.  Mork (amazingly portrayed by a very young and unknown Robin Williams) arrives on Earth in just such a ship and is taken in by a sweet and extremely patient young lady named Mindy (played by Pam Dawber). In this particular episode, Mork discovers a bowl of eggs tucked away in Mindy’s fridge.  Noting that it’s a violation of intergalactic law to eat your fellow space travelers, he takes one egg and tosses it into the air with the exhortation, “Fly!  Be free!”

Three guesses what happens.  First two don’t count.  If the word “splat” came to mind, you win.

Basically, the Governor has told us we can fly and be free where certain gatherings are concerned, but has asked us not to and to exercise caution if we do.  That caution may result in limiting the numbers but not so drastically that ten is the max.  It may be that the line at a visitation stretches for a greater distance because there’s six feet of space between each person.  It should definitely mean there’s still no hugging or handshaking because touching everyone can give them a lot more than moral support.  But whatever that looks like, now the family gets to decide.  Protecting yourself and everyone with whom you come in contact is still of the utmost importance, and we will do everything within our power to assist the families we serve in doing just that—on their terms—while celebrating the life of their loved one.  We have permission to fly; let’s just be certain that’s what we’re meant to do.  After all, going splat isn’t a very good option.

About the author:  Lisa Shackelford Thomas is a fourth generation member of a family that’s been in funeral service since 1926.  She has been employed at Shackelford Funeral Directors in Savannah, Tennessee for over 40 years and currently serves as the manager.

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